The Humorless Twit’s Special Birthday 80’s Quiz | May 2005


Rub it in about my age. But be careful–there’s a virus going around disguised as a birthday greeting. Which when I think about it, it would probably make a nice birthday gift: a bug for someone who’s got a bug up his… [CENSORED!]

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to… oh, sorry, I just noticed I’m in the middle of my own column. Well, if you’ll take a look at the page in Flamenco that has this month’s birthdays, you’ll see mine (and thankfully, it’s near the end of the month, to prolong the inevitable).

Now, if you’ve been reading this column throught the years (HEY! Quit laughing, all right?), you’ll notice I never mention anything about my own birthday. The easy way to answer “why” is false modesty. But in seriousness, I only mention it this year because it’s a landmark birthday for me. Yes, folks, the Twit turns 40.

AAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I hate seeing that number on my screen! I prefer to think of myself as 20 years old, with 20 years of experience.

Anywho, I was born right on the edge between the Baby Boom and the following generation, which has been referred to as “Generation X.” Most of my life I’ve identified myself as a member of this generation and so, this month I have a treat for those of you who, like me, came of age during the 1980’s.

So, put down that Rubik’s cube and turn off the Betamax as I’m about to show you “where’s the beef”–it’s in the Twit’s Special Birthday 80’s Quiz!

1. Who made your first video game system?
B. DeLorean
C. Atari
D. Sony

2. Who was President during most of the 80’s?
Bill Clinton
B. Max Headroom
C. John Paul II
D. Ronald Reagan
E. Martin Sheen

3. In what movie did the hooky-playing main character get up on a parade float and start lip-synching “Danke Schoen?”
Trading Places
B. Ferris Buehler’s Day Off
C. Sixteen Candles
D. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
E. Nightmare on Elm Street

4. What fast food restaurant did the famous “Where’s the beef?” commercial?
Burger King
B. Wendy’s
C. McDonald’s
D. Taco Bell

5. Your younger siblings probably grew up watching a cartoon about very small blue people. What was it called?
The Smurfs
B. Gummi Bears
C. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
D. The Care Bears

6. “U2″ is what?
A spy plane
B. A clever play on words or shorthand for when you mean to tell a second person that they are included
C. A letter and a number
D. A popular rock band that got its start in the 80’s

7. What popular movie featured a group of teenagers on detention?
Pretty in Pink
B. The Breakfast Club
C. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
D. Back to School

8. What role-playing game caught on during the 80’s?
Dungeons and Dragons
B. Human Chess
C. Charades
D. Twister

9. What popular cable channel started playing music videos in 1981, beginning with the appropriately titled video for the song “Video Killed the Radio Star”?
B. Cinemax
C. VH-1

10. What two popular female musicians did many high school girls dress up as during the 80’s?
Pat Benatar and Madonna
B. Roseanne and Tori Amos
C. Celine Dion and Whitney Houston
D. Sheena Easton and LaToya Jackson

11. Which of the following rock bands disappointed by not following up after two hit record albums (Hint: they’re from “Down Under”)?
Flock of Seagulls
B. Foreigner
C. Men at Work
D. A-Ha

12. “General Lee” was:
A Confederate general during the Civil War
B. The name of a horse
C. The car from the Dukes of Hazzard
D. A former president

13. For the guys: if you ever wore a peach-colored t-shirt with a white blazer and no socks, it’s because you saw it on the TV show…
The Dukes of Hazzard
B. Family Ties
C. Mork and Mindy
D. Miami Vice

14. The phrase “gag me with a spoon” became popular because:
It was a lyric in the song “Valley Girls”
B. It was used in the movie “Top Gun”
C. It was uttered by a politician during one of the national conventions
D. It was used on the TV show “ALF”

15. What 80’s celebrity was known for a unique hairstyle, lots of gold chains, and the phrase “I pity the fool?”
Michael J. Fox
B. Sylvester Stallone
C. Mr. T
D. Hulk Hogan

16. Who shot J.R. on Dallas?
B. Kristen
C. Sue Ellen
D. Pamela

17. Which Space Shuttle exploded during the 80’s?
B. Challenger
C. Voyager
D. Explorer

18. Which 80’s girl band sang “We Got the Beat?”
The Go-Gos
B. The Bangles
C. Bananarama
D. Vixen

19. For the gals: You wore…
Blue velvet
B. Hip-hugger jeans
C. Leg warmers
D. Platform shoes

20. Hearing the phrase “heard it through the grapevine” reminds you of:
The California Raisins
B. The song by Marvin Gaye
C. Rumor control
D. Napa Valley/wine country

Answers >>