Beginning in March 2003, we decided to stop including e-mails in the print version of the column. So from that point forth, for better or worse (most of our readers would vote for “worse”), The Humorless Twit is all original material. Although we should note the February column was our last all e-mail “effort,” which is why you won’t find it here.

• January 2003: Plate Glass Window+Loose Knob+Kid Brother+The Humorless Twit=Disaster

Adding up to trouble.

• March 2003: Horn Broke, Watch For Finger

The South Florida Driving Test.

• April 2003: The Story of Stinkydog

We smell a rat (terrier).

• May 2003: The Semi-Official Humorless Twit 2003 Hurricane Season Un-Preparedness Guide (Part 1)

The Humorless Twit proves he’s full of hot air as hurricane season approaches.

• September 2003: The Semi-Official Humorless Twit 2003 Hurricane Season Un-Preparedness Guide (Part 2)

The Humorless Twit is still full of hot air.

• October 2003: The FCAT: Frank’s (In)Credibly Asinine Test

Forget College After This.

• November 2003: Check This Bag

Fall, the season for travel and football–sometimes both at the same time.

• December 2003: The Humorless Twit’s Annual Christmas-Holiday Song Parody Special 2003

Talk about a blue Christmas….