Feb 032008

We justed posted the February 2008 column, The Humorless Twit Is Invisible–Well, Only Sometimes. Here’s a little peak:

I’ve found that I am truly invisible. But there is one major problem with my newly discovered invisibility: I have no control over it.

I can’t make myself invisible when I want to, which would come in soooooo handy, so often in my life. Like when I run into an ex, or one of those annoying acquaintances or relatives who loooooooves to talk.

So when/how do I become invisible? Oh, that’s easy. Whenever I find myself in any of the following situations:

-At work, when bonuses, coveted assignments and/or extra time off is being doled out
-When I need to merge into traffic or change lanes in my shiny, bright red Chrysler PT Cruiser
-At a store, deli or restaurant counter when I need help (this is especially true if I’m first/the next one to be served supposedly and there is not so much a line of people waiting to be helped but a mob–and someone else is usually chosen before me)

Jan 022008

Happy New Year to you. The January 2008 column, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam… The Humorless Twit Fights Back Against Spammers, is now online.

Here’s a snippet:


My name is Aykumfrumalabama Wisabanjo Onmainee, one of the 58 sons of major Gen Gimmeall Yermoni, The late Nigeria’s former minister of correuption in the regime of the late former Nigeria’s military Head of state, Gen Smoki Hibachi.

Nov 052007

Here’s the press release announcing the launch of the World’s Most Boring Website:

“World’s Most Boring Website” Now Online!

WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com takes “boring” to a new level.

Miami, Florida — November 5, 2007 — CurioZities, LLC announces the launch of the novelty website http://WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com with the purpose of elevating “boring” to an art form, according to Manager Frank Calderon.

“There are plenty of boring websites on the World Wide Web; some are intentionally boring… but many are unintentionally boring,” Calderon explained. “We wanted to do ‘boring’ right, so we put some time and effort into creating WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com and we believe it’s worthy of the title ‘world’s most boring website.'”

The satirical WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com includes a virtual “reading room” of sleep-inducing reading materials, a gallery of photos (black and white, of course) of grass growing, links to other boring websites, a page left intentionally blank and more. Even the comedic site’s terms of service page is described as capable of putting “a 250-dollar-an-hour lawyer to sleep.” And WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com was designed to bore: almost everything is in gray on a simple white background and most of the text is in a plain font.

WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com is a spin-off of curioZities’ TheHumorlessTwit.Com website, which itself grew out of the humor column The Humorless Twit, which Calderon writes for Flamenco, the monthly newsletter of Miami Mensa.

“To paraphrase our boring vision and mission statements, we’re hoping WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com will bore web surfers and cure insomnia, one visitor at a time!” Calderon added, laughing.

CurioZities, LLC is a Florida-based Internet advertising and publishing company.

The release is being distributed via many spots on the Internet. We’ll post links to some of those places on this blog.

Oct 062007

Geez, Louise. We haven’t posted in ages but a lot of stuff has gone on:

  • We’ve posted the last three columns–they were interactive “quizzes,” but unfortunately, not anymore–from the old format to the current format: March 2003, October 2003 and May 2005.
  • We’ve posted what is now the most recent monthly column, October 2007 (Dear Blabby and Gabby)
  • We got married to a wonderful sweetheart… :-)

What else? Well… we’ve got a new website, a spin-off of this one, in the works. An announcement is coming vewwy, vewwy soon… 👿

Oh yea, and we’ve added a few new features and have moved things around a bit–just when you got used to the way things were, of course.