Jan 212008

OMG! Not in a million years. Not if I were richer than Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and that Mexican oil dude, combined.

Gary Coleman

Are Gary Coleman’s pants the new Virgin Mary grilled-cheese sandwich? No. They are bigger.

Bidding on eBay reached $400,000 on Thursday for a pair of navy blue, size 12XL-Regular Gap Kids sweatpants signed by the former child star.

Yes, $400,000.

“This is really high,” eBay spokeswoman Karen Bard agreed.

Um, ya think, Mrs. Bard?

Jan 022008

Happy New Year to you. The January 2008 column, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam… The Humorless Twit Fights Back Against Spammers, is now online.

Here’s a snippet:


My name is Aykumfrumalabama Wisabanjo Onmainee, one of the 58 sons of major Gen Gimmeall Yermoni, The late Nigeria’s former minister of correuption in the regime of the late former Nigeria’s military Head of state, Gen Smoki Hibachi.

Nov 052007

Here’s the press release announcing the launch of the World’s Most Boring Website:

“World’s Most Boring Website” Now Online!

WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com takes “boring” to a new level.

Miami, Florida — November 5, 2007 — CurioZities, LLC announces the launch of the novelty website http://WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com with the purpose of elevating “boring” to an art form, according to Manager Frank Calderon.

“There are plenty of boring websites on the World Wide Web; some are intentionally boring… but many are unintentionally boring,” Calderon explained. “We wanted to do ‘boring’ right, so we put some time and effort into creating WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com and we believe it’s worthy of the title ‘world’s most boring website.'”

The satirical WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com includes a virtual “reading room” of sleep-inducing reading materials, a gallery of photos (black and white, of course) of grass growing, links to other boring websites, a page left intentionally blank and more. Even the comedic site’s terms of service page is described as capable of putting “a 250-dollar-an-hour lawyer to sleep.” And WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com was designed to bore: almost everything is in gray on a simple white background and most of the text is in a plain font.

WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com is a spin-off of curioZities’ TheHumorlessTwit.Com website, which itself grew out of the humor column The Humorless Twit, which Calderon writes for Flamenco, the monthly newsletter of Miami Mensa.

“To paraphrase our boring vision and mission statements, we’re hoping WorldsMostBoringWebsite.Com will bore web surfers and cure insomnia, one visitor at a time!” Calderon added, laughing.

CurioZities, LLC is a Florida-based Internet advertising and publishing company.

The release is being distributed via many spots on the Internet. We’ll post links to some of those places on this blog.