Don’t read while eating: the February 2009 column

funny, humor, pets and animals No Responses »
Feb 232009

The February 2009 column is (actually, has been for a couple of weeks now) online now. Here’s a snippet:

Chili Dog (left) and Gladys, or Poopmeister I and Poopmeister II.

Chili Dog (left) and Gladys, or Poopmeister I and Poopmeister II.

Trying to medicate Chili Dog is as fun as, oh, having a root canal without anesthesia. Those of you with dogs know they quickly learn when you’re about to do something unpleasant to them so they go and hide. Chili Dog’s compact size (about the size of a large chihuahua) gives her many options for hiding.

The vet didn’t make my job any easier, either. The labels on the bottles for the already too small pills I have to give Chili Dog order me to give her “1/4” or “3/4” pill two or three times a day.

1/4? 3/4????? What the heck is that? By the time I finish cutting each pill first into two halves then into quarters, they crumble into white dust and I have to guess how much is a quarter pill. Oh, and did I mention only one of the pills is scored for purportedly “easier” cutting?

Posted by The Twit at 8:38 pm Tagged with: , , , ,

Finally! Woohoo! The updated site and blog are here!

blog, design, designing the site and blog, humor No Responses »
Feb 232009

After months stretched into a year, we’ve finally updated the site and posted the last batch of columns.

We’ve still got a few tweaks left here and there, but the site and blog should pretty much stay as you see them now. Until the next time we redesign…

Posted by The Twit at 8:27 pm Tagged with: , , ,

February 2008 column now online

humor, writing No Responses »
Feb 032008

We justed posted the February 2008 column, The Humorless Twit Is Invisible–Well, Only Sometimes. Here’s a little peak:

I’ve found that I am truly invisible. But there is one major problem with my newly discovered invisibility: I have no control over it.

I can’t make myself invisible when I want to, which would come in soooooo handy, so often in my life. Like when I run into an ex, or one of those annoying acquaintances or relatives who loooooooves to talk.

So when/how do I become invisible? Oh, that’s easy. Whenever I find myself in any of the following situations:

-At work, when bonuses, coveted assignments and/or extra time off is being doled out
-When I need to merge into traffic or change lanes in my shiny, bright red Chrysler PT Cruiser
-At a store, deli or restaurant counter when I need help (this is especially true if I’m first/the next one to be served supposedly and there is not so much a line of people waiting to be helped but a mob–and someone else is usually chosen before me)

Posted by The Twit at 6:09 pm

Merry New Year! January ’08 column now online!

humor, internet, writing No Responses »
Jan 022008

Happy New Year to you. The January 2008 column, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam… The Humorless Twit Fights Back Against Spammers, is now online.

Here’s a snippet:

GREETINGS DEAR FREIND

My name is Aykumfrumalabama Wisabanjo Onmainee, one of the 58 sons of major Gen Gimmeall Yermoni, The late Nigeria’s former minister of correuption in the regime of the late former Nigeria’s military Head of state, Gen Smoki Hibachi.

Posted by The Twit at 4:14 pm

Flat-out smelly

humor No Responses »
Dec 102007

There’s no respect these days for us old farts:

A retired bus driver who describes himself as “an old fart” has received a written request from the social club at which he drinks to step outside when he passes gas, the Telegraph reports.

To paraphrase actor Tim Robbins, “I smell a foul wind blowing….”

Posted by The Twit at 9:42 pm
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