Oct 302007
 

The November, 2007 column is now online–access it here. Let’s just say it’s boooooring…

Oct 302007
 

It’s here, it’s here, the world’s most boring website! Be sure to visit today.

Oct 232007
 

Leave it to the Japanese to invent a toilet… for your car!

If you’re stuck in traffic when Mother Nature calls, Japan’s Kaneko Sangyo Co. has developed the loo for you.

The manufacturer of plastic car accessories drew back the curtain on Tuesday on its new portable toilet for cars.

The toilet comes with a curtain large enough to conceal users and a plastic bag to collect waste.

We just hope those litterbugs in front of us during this morning’s commute don’t think of buying one for their car…

Oct 232007
 

After this, I’d spread the most expensive toppings I could find on Polly’s crackers:

A noisy parrot that likes to imitate sounds helped save a man and his son from a house fire by mocking a smoke alarm, the bird’s owner says.

Shannon Conwell, 33, said he and his 9-year-old son fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie. They awoke about 3 a.m. Friday to find their home on fire after hearing the family’s Amazon parrot, Peanut, imitating a fire alarm.

Sounds to me like that parrot merits the royal treatment!

Oct 192007
 

People skipped work and waited in line… FOR DAYS. Was it for something important like, say, life-saving medications? Nope. It was for the grand opening of a furniture store (specifically, an IKEA store in a suburb of Fort Lauderdale, Florida)!!!!!!

“Some people wait in line for a week or so to get an iPhone, and no one says they’re crazy. And they pay like $600 for that phone. I’m in line for something that’s free,” (Hollywood, Florida resident Keisha) Dallas said. “I’m not paying anything.”

Keisha, you wanna bet no one says people waiting in line for days for a cellphone (or a furniture store) are crazy?

Then there’s the guy who jeopardized his day job, just so he can spend a shower-free night waiting in a line for a furniture store open with dozens of equally shower-free people:

“I was supposed to be at work today, but unfortunately I suffered a stomach virus,” said one man, “Jacob,” who declined to give his last name for fear of employer retribution. He and two friends arrived at 10 p.m. Tuesday.

Good thing your boss isn’t Donald Trump, Jacob.